Look as a woman I am always hearing about self-care in fact in many of my therapy session I am saying “Hey, how are you going to practice self-care this week?.”  However as often as I said it I would think who has time for that?  I mean a massage, a weekend a way, manicure, or a night out with the gals.  Let’s not forget the thought that self-care is selfish so there is that mind hurdle to jump.

I am a people pleaser in recovery.   In my past life  I hustled for my worth.  How can I make my kids super happy?  How can I make my husband happy?  How can I be the best at work?  How can I show the world I am worthy of love and belonging?  Bake a cake for the fundraiser?  Sign me up!  Coach cheerleading?  Sign me up!  Habit for humanity?  Sign me up!  And the list goes on.  Don’t get me wrong, I love volunteering and giving back, but I was saying yes too often, and at times, for the wrong reasons.  I noticed I would be resentful as I juggled too many things at once leaving me depleted and angry.

I started using this as my guide to saying no to the things I didn’t want to do and YES to the things that I wanted to do.  Choosing to do things that I wanted to do because it aligned with my values and the time I had, without leaving me exhausted with nothing left to give to the people I love.

I needed to get this self-care thing idea into my bones and part of my everyday routine, but how? One day as I was standing in my room getting ready for work I noticed I had on a matching pair of bra and undies.  This wasn’t Victoria’s Secret fancy set, just an every day pair, but they were the same color  and I thought to myself, “This feels good, I should do this more often.” BAM!  Self-care

Taking the time to pause and do something nice for myself in the moment: a deep breathe; a kind word; a quick laugh; they can all go a long way. You know what else I noticed about self-care?  When I do take a moment, or a day, for me, I can give more to others. I had to realize that self-care is the balance between selfish and selflessness. That self-care opens the door to giving. So it got me thinking and I started a list of all the things I could do in a day and wouldn’t be an extra-spendy time sucker.  I mean we are all living busy lives…

SIX SELF-CARE TIPS THAT DON’T SUCK TIME 

Turn that frustration into mediation: Traffic drives me insane so when I am in traffic I use that as a sign to deep-breathe: focusing on my breath, letting my mind calm, to just be in that moment or to wish the people I love well.

Lotion, Lotion, Lotion. I used to put lotion on as a chore, another thing to do because I don’t like dry skin.  I would hastily apply it with a bit of frustration as  the thought, “I don’t have time for this” played in my mind.  Now, I pause, breathe in the fragrance, and just notice the feel of lotion.

Coffee/Tea. I love to creep out of bed 15 minutes before everyone else gets up in the morning and just savor a cup of coffee.  I sit quietly and notice the warmth in my hand, the smell, and the quiet in my home.  Bonus: if everyone continues to sleep, I read something inspirational or set my intention for the day.  Tea is a great way to end my day again using this as a time of reflection and pause.

Dove Chocolates: If you dig through my bedroom you will probably find a bag of Dove chocolates.  When life has just been EXTRA! I slip into my bedroom pull out one Dove chocolate and eat it as if it were my J-O-B.  Bonus:  Dove Chocolates have a little message inside to provide a bit of inspiration.

Music! Music! Music!: I have many playlists: current favs, girl’s weekend, and fireside friends.  Depending on what I need I simply pick a song and get lost in the music.

Take a Shower, Mindfully. I have two little boys and moments of stillness are pretty rare.   I use shower time to quiet my mind, enjoy the warmth and pull positive energy into my body so I have enough to start my day.  I shower most days, and the days I don’t are usually because self-care says forget the shower and stay in your jammies ALL DAY!

I know there are many ways to self-care: exercise, nourishing your body, coffee with a friend, reading a good book or going to a movie; find what works for you- the list is endless.

Start today!  Make a self-care commitment to honor YOURSELF daily.  Begin your journey to ENOUGH by filling your cup so you may continue to bring your best self to the table.   You Got This!  You Do Hard Things!

Here at Conscious Healing Counseling, we provide mental health support for individuals, families, children, teens, & couples.

Our wholehearted, individualized approach facilitates conscious change so you can live an authentic life filled with love and belonging.

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Author: Jamie Mosley

Jamie is board certified Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor and Certified Daring Way™ Facilitaor in Minnesota. She is passionate about living a wholehearted life. Dr. Brené Brown defines wholehearted living as “engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.” She trusts that the wisdom to lead a healthy, joyful life is within each and every one of us and her role is to facilitate you in unlocking your own true wisdom.