I can’t take care of myself unless I am willing to let go of CONTROL. How to juggle it all–well, maybe…
It wasn’t that long ago I was feeling overwhelmed by life. I mean we have so many things to take care of in a day, a week, a month… The kids, the laundry, the yard work, the job, the dishes, relationships, friends, pets… the list goes on and on. There are days when I feel so overwhelmed I just want to throw my hands in the air and say FORGET IT—I QUIT. And then I am reminded of the example my husband gave me a few years back. He said, “Jamie, I think of it like this: In life we have glass balls and rubber balls. Glass balls are those precious things in your life that if you drop you might damage them in fact you just might break them. Examples of glass balls are things like being at our son’s first sonogram or remembering to pick our five-year-old up from pre-school, sending a note to a friend in need, or remembering your significant other’s birthday. And then there are rubber balls. And when you drop a rubber ball, well, they just bounce. For example, getting the yard mowed, the 20th tee-ball game of the month, or the car getting washed are all things that bounce if they are dropped.
There was my husband with some truth tea! Wow what at story really stuck with me. I started to visualize all the things I wanted to get done in my life and suddenly it became clear to me what the glass balls were and what the rubber balls were. The glass balls, well, these are my values: they are my family; they are my friends; and honestly, all the rest, they are rubber balls. So if you come to my house and you see my grass isn’t cut or the dishes are piled high in the sink know those are balls I am letting bounce while I am playing freeze tag with the boys, or having a cocktail with neighbors, or quietly listening to my inner voice say “rest Jamie – it is okay.”
In this busy world it is easy to get caught up in wanting to control everything- wanting to make sure that everything is done perfectly. In the past I hung on to control like a life-jacket: planning the menu; making sure the house was clean; scheduling the kids; executing the perfect career moves; reading the next “how-to book” to make sure I never missed a beat. That way no one could judge me, no could say “You aren’t enough,” and I could feel safe in the comfort of planning everything to the Nth degree. I know it is wise to have a plan B but damn, I had back up plans for the back up plans. The bummer is that all that control honestly didn’t protect me from one damn thing. I still felt shame. I still experienced loss, sadness, hurt, anger, and disappointment. All control was doing was wasting my time leaving me feelings exhausted and resentful.
This week I challenge you- when you notice that feeling of being overwhelmed, when you notice that you just can’t give one more ounce of yourself, when you are juggling a million different balls. Stop-evaluate- and ask yourself: Is this a glass ball or a rubber ball? Is what I am choosing to do aligning with who I am- my values? Now make your choice- juggle it or let it bounce!
Here at Conscious Healing Counseling, we provide mental health support for individuals, families, children, teens, & couples.
Our wholehearted, individualized approach facilitates conscious change so you can live an authentic life filled with love and belonging.
RECENT POSTS
Author: Jamie Mosley
Jamie is board certified Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor and Certified Daring Way™ Facilitaor in Minnesota. She is passionate about living a wholehearted life. Dr. Brené Brown defines wholehearted living as “engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.” She trusts that the wisdom to lead a healthy, joyful life is within each and every one of us and her role is to facilitate you in unlocking your own true wisdom.